That Wasn’t “Ketchup”

I don’t really like veggie burgers.

They were alright when I first tried them, when they were novel and restaurants like Hard Rock Cafe served grain-based GardenBurgers instead of soy-based Boca Burgers.  But someone got the idea that soy-burgers are more flavorful, desirable, something than whole grains… and now that’s what everyone serves.

Including my parents, who have had the idea since I stopped eating meat at fifteen years old that I would wind up malnourished if I didn’t get enough protein, and who like to buy me Boca Burgers when the family is grilling hamburgers.

It’s not that I won’t eat them; it’s just that the grey, frozen patties are pretty darned flavorless, even when cooked up and layered with cheese, greens, tomatoes, ketchup, mayo and mustard… in which case, I usually feel like I’m eating the ‘burger’ just to get a little texture out of the meal, and perhaps a bit of protein.

I’d rather eat eggs.  Or a salad.  Or a salad with eggs, sans condiments.

I’ve also stopped eating most condiments since I don’t often eat sandwiches and I tend to prefer the flavor of my foods added to them while cooking rather than poured from bottles at the table.

Yet, during my first #Foodiechat on Twitter, when the subject of gourmet condiments arose and Traina Foods started throwing around that they make sun-dried tomato ketchup, that they were even willing to give away samples of the product to some of the #foodie participants, I couldn’t resist asking for some.

About a week later, an 8x5x5” box arrived from California, to my utter surprise.  I’d forgotten about the samples and had been sure I’d receive, at most, some ketchup packets; I opened the box curiously and laughed, finding two full-sized ketchup bottles tucked between huge pockets of bubblewrap.

But what to do with so much ketchup?  I hadn’t so much as poured a dab of ketchup on even my Waffle House hash browns in years, didn’t dare contaminate the sweetness of decent fried potatoes – especially sweet potato fries, which I most commonly ate – with anything besides salt, pepper and perhaps some rosemary… and I almost never eat fast-food fries.

I gave one bottle to my intrigued brother and his girlfriend and set the other on the counter until I could figure out what to do with it.

Weeks passed.  I’d notice it on the counter occasionally and would remind myself that I needed to try it…  But it was ketchup, for goodness sake, and when was I going to make french fries?  When was I going to even go to the McDonald’s down the street to pick up a small serving, so I could taste the sun-dried goodness that surely awaited inside that plastic bottle…?

I wondered what it would taste like, knew I could just open it up and taste it by itself… but the thought seemed obscene, ridiculous.  And what if it was only good ON something?

The longer I waited, the more my mind filled with contrasting ideas of what was inside that bottle:  overly-sweet ketchup like I grew up with; some combination of that and the richness of sun-sweetened Roma tomatoes like I loved pulling from small jars in their oil packing….  I became so lost in my expectations and ideas that I was no longer sure whether or not I wanted to try it anymore.  Maybe I’d wait to hear my brother’s appraisal….

I guess it’s easy to put off anything, no matter what you do; but this taste-test became so much easier to delay with my regular outings to restaurants and my busy schedule of helping paint and pack up my parents’ house.

Still, the Traina Sun-dried Tomato Ketchup sat on the counter.  Waiting for me.

I was not expecting to try it today.  This was not in the plans.  In fact, my only plans for today entailed writing an overdue piece about my first experience of Decatur’s The Pinewood Tipping Room, and relishing in the excitement of this evening’s dinner reservations at Ford Fry’s latest offering to the world and Atlanta:  St. Cecilia’s, in Buckhead.

I peeked at my phone when it notified me of a Tweet.  It was Traina’s social media staff member:  “Hi Meredith!  Any plans to write about our CA Sun Dried Tomato Ketchup? What did you think?  Thanks!”

Oh heck.  Yes, definitely; I’d delayed this for long enough, and I’d only refrain from writing about it if it wasn’t good.  What the heck was I gonna eat this on??

“Definitely planning to write something, haven’t had a chance to try it yet.  Any suggestions for a tasty combination?”  I presumed it’d be word-worthy, but, for goodness sakes… what the heck was I gonna eat this on?

“Aside from elevating burgers, it is great on grilled cheese sandwiches….”

I don’t do ketchup on grilled cheese sandwiches, but what the heck?  Why not….

The problem is the cheese.  I’d made so many grilled cheese sandwiches for yesterday’s lunch that we hardly had enough left.  So, I was stuck with the Boca….

…Which I grilled, set on sandwich bread with some mustard and fresh spinach, topped with Traina’s Sun-dried Tomato Ketchup….

Oh my gosh.

To call it “ketchup” is to really lower this condiment’s value significantly.  “Ketchup” is what kids put on oily french fries and dry hamburgers and meatloaf and steaks and fried chicken strips and fish sticks to make them somewhat edible.  “Ketchup” is what teenagers put on Kraft macaroni-and-cheese to give themselves more calories.  “Ketchup” is what weirdos put on their grilled cheese sandwiches because… well, who understands why anyone would spoil a perfectly good grilled cheese sandwich with an overly-sweet tomato paste product – unless the “cheese” was oil-based American “cheese” slices?

This was not ketchup.

I found myself repeatedly squirting more of the rippling, textured tomato puree onto my plate, dipping my Boca burger again and again into the mound as I would dip corn tortillas into an addictively fresh salsa, the ‘ketchup’ making my veggie burger taste more like an Italian sangwich than the ordinary soy-burger I was used to eating.  I’d put this stuff on Eggplant Parmesan as a quick sauce; it would surely do wonders for breaded veal or chicken cutlets with sautéed peppers and onions….  I bet I could even convince some of my Italian-American friends it was homemade…!

My mind kept rippling with ideas for this sauce:  pasta, pizza or calzone sauce….

I don’t know how much I used as I reveled in it; I tried to remember as I somewhat guiltily read the back label to find the calorie content (20 cals/Tbsp), as I scanned the remarkably-simple list of ingredients, finding that only the use of corn syrup in the recipe made me start.

But the taste, the texture made the use of corn syrup forgivable; this stuff was amazing, especially if I ever needed a last-minute solution.

And to think, I gave away a bottle….

They must know how good it is, to have given me two.

By the way, don’t ask me where you can get it; I don’t know.  I’d guess you could probably find it at Whole Foods and other gourmet food stores; but, with the friendliness of their social media staff, I’d suggest you just follow them on Twitter to find out more about this and other products by Traina.

Heck, “other products.”  What else do you do right, guys?

***Please note:  This is not a paid advertisement; the most I got out of this deal was two bottles of amazing so-called ketchup.  Which I’ll be out of before I know it.  And then I’ll have to buy it like the rest of you….