Say it to me again, yet again Those words that drip with firey ice Squawk, tear at me due to hidden pain Tell me calm words are not so nice Tell me, you who would teach me again Tell me, again, that I speak too much When I speak my heart, though perfectly plain When I utter no nonsense, but reason-and-such Say it to me, heart’s love, just one more time Those words no one can stand to hear Those cruel words of your stain’ed mind Whispering echoes of your darkest fear Loose on me your deep regrets Charged heavily with your father’s voice Sing to me pained refrain, don’t forget When I speak with truth, my heart’s deepest choice But ‘t’were coddling words you wanted to hear Since speaking true words is your greatest fear And hearing truths unbidden a dastardly crime Though untruths claim your life time after time I learned: Strangling my voice was my only vice From the one who enacted my crime-not-so-nice We don’t get to choose truths or to cut grafts and splice Else you’d be as that one was, a true accomplice So, don’t tell me, aged one Words of honey sweet Can undo what one has done While I stand on my feet And please grasp: I’m not uncouth Nor you, I chastise If I can’t shut my mouth I just don’t compromise Still lauded as smart I stand up for myself I am true to my heart Don’t put it on a shelf So please, don’t slap me down like the child you feel When I’m offering words, if you’d take, that might heal But your ego is great and your fear overtakes And we both lose our tempers, make horrid mistakes Do you think, for a second, if I’d listened to you If I’d shut my mouth tight, as you demand that I do That I’d not be so brandished in life as I’ve been? I promise you, I did; felt their fists time again So, you beg that I stop But I promise, I shan’t It’s a choice that I make Even if love is scant Understanding takes all but a moment, my dear Understanding that love sometimes mixes with fear Understanding that truth is truth, despite what you take Understand vocalizing is a choice we each make Understanding comes whether we like it or not But choose not understanding, all chances are shot PROLOGUE And now, you have but a memory close And I shan't give you lectures We've each had our last dose All through fissions and fractures We lose love and time And you're not even likely To read this last rhyme
Category: Communicate
Doubts Borne of Men I’ve Loved Before
You know you're beautiful, like no one else, I've seen the way you hold yourself: That shameless poise as you just pass through Holding my heart like I belonged to you What is it you do not see That makes it easy to discard me? What is it you love much more That you'd walk out and shut the door? You know you're talented, so self-made, I've seen the wealth and the accolades: Dropped a trifle in my palm, Wrote me off without a qualm What is it makes you cease to care Despite all that we vowed to share? What is it you want so much less That you'd shatter my heart, leave it a mess? You know you're so very skilled at love, I remember the things we'd both dream of: That passionate demand in my ear Making me wish I could hold you near What is it makes you disappear, Pretend we were not, then wander clear? What is it you get with her To pretend that you and I never were? You know your life is so very nice, Family so lovely as to entice, Home so calm my dreams I might sell If I didn't know your wishes well What is it makes you shield your heart When we've managed this belated start? What is it makes you act this way Where I'm damned sure you'll go away? You know you're just so very smart I gave you my life to take apart, I'd have been with you a million years But you left me spilling a heart full of tears What is it you loathed so much That you tore me apart, gave so rare a touch? What is it makes you blind to see That it was your problem more than it was me?
Photo ©2020 MLM
…I see more than this,
More than I can tell you, more than there are words for.
T.S. Eliot, The Complete Poems & Plays (via wordsnquotes)
She’s broken. But that doesn’t mean she is weak. If you apply enough pressure anything will break.
enigmatic-thinker (via wnq-writers)
To tell someone not to be emotional is to tell them to be dead.
~Except: don’t forget that happy is normal, too~
If I had to describe her in one word, it would be ‘familiar’. Because when something is familiar, it’s comfort in the unknown. It’s nostalgia for a place you may have never been before. It’s the aching desire to be in the arms of someone who may have never even held you. It’s home away from home. It’s exactly where I want to be.
Connotativewords | jl | It’s exactly who you are to me (via connotativewords)
I’m not running away from anything, I’m running towards. I’m running towards love, towards things larger than life. I’m not running away from my problems, I’m simply leaving them behind, leaving them in the past. I don’t need them where I’m going.
polarioid (via wnq-writers)
Dreams are true while they last, and do we not live in dreams?
Even if you called 6 months later, at 3am i’d still answer.
(via tullipsink)
“This is the hardest relationship in my entire life,” he complained.
If I was any less of the woman I am, would you have been drawn to me?
You’re trying to leave yourself behind, but you can’t. The more you try to run away from yourself, the more you’ll have yourself with you.
F. Scott Fitzgerald, “The Adjuster” (via wordsnquotes)
That’s why I like you so much. Your heart isn’t dead.
Albert Camus, The Just Assassins (via wordsnquotes)
Sometimes I think the loneliness inside of me is going to explode through my skin and sometimes I’m not sure if crying or screaming or laughing through the hysteria will solve anything at all. Sometimes I’m so desperate to touch, to be touched, to feel, that I’m almost certain I’m going to fall off a cliff in an alternate universe where no one will ever be able to find me.
sphallolalia
An obsolete word, sphallolalia is defined as flirtatious talk that leads nowhere.
- etymology: Ancient Greek σφάλλω (sphallō, “to stumble”) and λαλιά (lalia, “talking”).
(via wordsnquotes)
I’ve found that growing up means being honest. About what I want. What I need. What I feel. Who I am.
Unknown (via wordsnquotes)
Did you ever know, dear, how much you took away with you when you left?
This is exactly how I feel, almost all the time.
Don’t be morbid. Life starts all over again when it gets crisp in the fall.
Defy Nothing
It is no wonder you struggle with me:
Your life is so many rules,
Never to break.
You would not come back to this place where we met,
Where I am now,
You would be aghast at my sitting so close,
In casual defiance (not “belligerence”),
To your friends.
Do not think that it is in defiance of you,
For you do not embody these rules,
These conventions that say I must not.
I am looking for something,
I realized:
I am looking for me, for my place in this world.
I am looking for my freedom from you.
I am looking for the place where joy exists without your face,
Where my every thought is not consumed by you.
And, yes, as you are in my bloodstream,
I wouldn’t mind seeing you.
But I haunt the places where I’ve loved,
My body an apparition of its own
Seeking solace, seeking reason
Defying death.
We are Phoenix, do you remember?
Dying and living time and again;
We are who we are without each other,
We are who we are with each other;
We are who we are regardless of each other,
In every time and place.
The challenge, my dear, is the remembering –
Not everything else
But ourselves, regardless of everything.
That, my love,
Is The Game:
Remember-and-Forget
Live-and-Die
Love-Others-and-Oneself;
It is The-Impossible-Made-Real,
The-Primordial-Paradox-Eternal…
The thing I love most
That you love most
And that, my dearest one,
Is what drew you to me
Is what pulled me to you
Is the soul-searching habit we always are.
“Sometimes, I can’t believe it,
I’m moving past the feeling
Again…”
We are all homeless, my love,
And carry our home everywhere we go.
We are all loveless, my dear,
And carry all of our love within.
We are all empty, my sweet,
That we may breathe the world every day.
We are all unsure, my darling,
And learn forever as we go.
We are all shy, my eternal one,
Kissed by the world for reaching out.
We are always together, always apart,
‘Tis the paradox of life, made whole by love.
I have found myself again, in my defiance.
May you find yourself wherever,
However you go.
*Credit to Arcade Fire for lyrics from The Suburbs
Oceans of Mine 