Nobody can make it “okay” except for you.
You’re struggling. I get it. I’ve been there in so many ways, so many times, you wouldn’t believe it.
The only way out is you.
I’ve been penniless before. I’ve starved three times in my adult life: twice when I was pregnant with each of my kids.
I’m talking:
We daydreamed of what might be in the refrigerator,
we were so poor;
and that’s not even nearly the worst I’ve suffered through.
So, I get it.
But here’s the thing:
Find what you love,
not WHO you love.
Do what you love,
not WHO you love.
That solves everything.
Literally everything.
BE who you love;
That’s really the only step.
There’s just one. That’s it.
Your stories are, unfortunately, just a slow way for you to examine yourself until you can get to THAT TRUTH,
and, until you figure out THAT TRUTH, your stories are unfortunately just excuses.
I’m not dismissing you. I’m trying to help you.
But it is up to you to decide that you are committed to you.
Write.
Every single day.
You can use your computer, if you like.
Just use Notepad.
But write EVERY SINGLE DAY:
Write your stories;
Write them THERE.
Write about your frustrations.
Write about your dreams.
Write until you’re sick of hearing yourself write.
Write until you’re sick of complaining about the same old shit.
Write and write and write and write and write and write.
Something will break in you.
Don’t judge ANYTHING you think or feel.
Write it ALL there.
It’s your sacred place without judgement.
Let no one read it unless you feel like they are someone you feel you could die with:
I mean that very very literally.
Let no one read it unless you TRULY want to share it.
Write like it was going to save your life –
Because it WILL,
if you keep writing.
When you feel like it, go back and read old pages.
Write about your hopes, your dreams, your frustrations.
Write about how sick you are of whatever you’re sick of.
Write about how stupid I am for giving you this damned assignment – if that’s what you feel.
But WRITE
EVERY DAY.
Give yourself a word limit. You can write more, but not less.
You’ll fail.
Do it again.
Keep writing.
THAT is how I saved myself.
Part of it, anyway; but that was significant, huge.
That’s why you have to commit, first. You see?
Your conscious mind will find a way to express to you all of what matters, and the writing will tell your mind that these are the things that matter to you most.
It will focus on solutions for those problems
and it will help you find them;
but if you are dishonest
you are only cheating YOURSELF
and you will find yourself unhappy.
It’s as easy as this:
If you go to McDonald’s and order a Big Mac when you really want an ice cream cone, you can’t blame anyone except yourself for NOT getting the ice cream cone.
Understand?
And if you HATE McDonald’s?
You can’t blame the existence of McDonald’s.
You can only blame yourself for GOING there.
Super-easy, huh?
** With credit and profound thanks to Julie Cameron for her wise advice in The Artist’s Way and to the late Frank Herbert for his immense wisdom in all the books of the DUNE series – all of which has changed my life only because I took it all and made it mine.
Oceans of Mine 