As You Are

I am not for you.

You’ve said it:

You are not looking for beauty.

You regret asking me for my strength;

You regret asking me for all I am,

You said you didn’t know I would be

So ruthlessly myself.

Are you so weak;

Did I love you so much

As to be blind to your fragility,

To your hopeful heart

And fallible strength

As to miss the meaning

Of such

An unsustainable request?

Or did your fears catch up with you;

My words,

My heart pouring every day,

Every moment with unadulterated love,

Every breath of mine become for you;

Despite your mind’s monsters

Making a monster out of you?

I still love you as before.

No distance can quell this ocean.

No time can tarnish my heart’s shine.

No amount of verbal brandishing

Can make me believe your costuming,

Can disguise your heart or mine,

Can still the moments,

Still alive,

Of every moment

Your heart

Kisses,

Aches for,

Yearns for

Mine.

You are not for me

And I am not for you;

But we are

Bound

And this love

Rules

And I am for me

As you are for you.

A Break From Insanity

Remember the days of blue skies and sweltering heat

when your love clung to me like the humid air

when your arms found their way around me

when your head rested upon me

when my love surrounded you in unspoken words

when you were everything to me

when I was so new and precious to you?

 

Remember the nights in dark places

when your hands and mine found each other

when we relaxed in small spaces

when your eyes stole into mine

when our presence was real

when all else was unreal

when our deep possession burned and pressed,

aching to escape?

 

Remember me?

If all the world surrenders

If all the world will die

If all inside me crumbles

If my body and mind disguise me

If my flesh grows old and thin

If my fears render my thoughts riddled and incontinent

 

Remember me:

I’m right here

I haven’t changed

I always love you

I always know you

I always remember you

I’ll always wait for you.